Well, I hit rock bottom and now we’re here.

Post pandemic life has been hard for I think the vast majority of people but for me, I found that climb out of the socially-distanced-plant-obsessed-no-bra-ever hole back into the world of normalcy particularly challenging.

For a year, I had to change everything that I was to keep myself and my loved ones safe. I am a creative human; I taught competitive dance, worked with children, was employed on a cruise ship, jumped headfirst into adventures and leaned into my wanderlust with joyous abandon. And in the blink of an eye, my sense of self was gone.

My creative pieces soul took a back seat while my survival instincts kicked into overdrive. I thought I should do the proper adulting thing and use my educational background in Executive Administration and grow up. Trade my tap shoes for sensible soles, stop being “Cartwheel the Counsellor” and become Ms.Delorme, E. A. I worked administration in a variety of settings; medical consulting, veterinary medicine, insurance, hospitality, & pharmaceuticals- and while I loved all of those roles for various reasons, I felt stagnant and unhappy.

But life is expensive and I felt that I should do what was expected of me. I should be doing what those around me were doing. I felt that staying on the practical path was the correct path. If everyone else could do it, why shouldn’t I?

Worst. Decision. Ever

I tried to fit myself into a box I didn’t belong in. Everything I valued about myself, about the skills I took time and energy to hone, the flair I loved to add to everything task wasn’t used or valued. I found myself drowning. I was let go from a position and it rocked my world. I was devastated. I thought myself a failure. I thought my values and the woman I was - well, they were wrong and she was wrong.

I believed that I was defective